currrently

Daddy-o started his new job Monday and I stayed behind in NM with all FOUR kiddos to get us ready for this move. My two oldest babes are still in school and I wanted to keep our routine as normal as possible. I've been packing and cleaning and cleaning some more and my heart just hasn't been excited AT ALL for this move.

What is wrong with me?

I was excited at first and then all of the sudden the anxiety hit me like a ton of bricks. I like to carry around everybody else's stressed along with my own, and apparently my kids stresses are no exception. I've moved lots. But this time feels different, It feels permanent. I thought that normal people loved permanency?
The thought of buying and settling down in one place forever is scaring the crap out of me. My kiddos are so excited (for the most part.) My husband is thrilled, and I am trying not to have a crazy anxiety attack.
Kid's are really receptive when it comes to mama stress. I thought my eyeballs might pop out of my head yesterday when I was cleaning up another unnecessary mess. Finally bedtime came and I was headed up stairs when I stumbled upon this little gem.

My sweet Alijah, had made this out of pipe cleaners and put it on my bed to see when I came up! Quite possibly one of the sweetest things ever done for me.  His thoughtfulness made me grateful. Grateful for all that I have and all that I am about to have. Whatever that may be.