Life

It has been seriously months since I have updated!
Things have been a roller coaster since the day I found I out was pregnant with baby number 3. He is here by the way, he is healthy, and incredible and I promise to tell all about him later.

The day I found out I was pregnant was a shock. We quite literally trying NOT to get pregnant, but God had different plans for this family.
I had horrible morning sickness and sank into somewhat of a depression.
I was shocked to be pregnant, still taking care of 2 very little ones and my husband had just returned from his deployment to Afghanistan.
It was a very hard transition. I was so excited to have a sweet baby but was also sad that it was not happening quite how I had expected.
Anyways fast forward to February 2011 and here comes sweet baby: TEVIN SLOAN
We were so surprised he was a boy and thrilled to be a new family of 5!
My birth went okay, not at all how I had planned (which I still think about constantly) and I will post more about that later.
And here I was, a new mommy, had a brand new 2 year old and a 4 year old.
I was exhausted, overwhelmed and scared about how to even approach this new life.

So that's about it, whew... just reading it makes me overwhelmed.
I have since suffered from terrible postpartum depression.
So that's whats been going on.
It has been hard to say the least.

I haven't been the mommy I wanted to be.
I haven't been the kind of wife I have aspired to be.
I have been overwhelmed, and cranky, sad, emotional.
I am not even close to the person I really am,
when I look in the mirror I wonder who this woman is staring back at me.

So, that's why I have not posted.
I am trying now, I feel like I am crawling my way out of my funk.
God is good and with Him and I am getting better.