wasted?

Nothing is wasted? I feel like God uses all situations, circumstances, happy or sad, to teach us something. The Kingdom is the end goal right? But what happens when you start to doubt the very thing you always believed? 

The past few years have been hard on my family. My husband left active duty to pursue his degree and with that came a move to our old hometown. Most people would be thrilled at this aspect, I however was terrified. We literally moved our family with three small children without my husband having a job! We knew he would be using the GI bill to finish his degree and hopefully would be able to go back active as an officer. 

Things just don't always turn out how you think they should. He was able to snag a job that paid decently and started attending school full time. The job unfortunately didn't have good benefits. And guess what, I found out I was pregnant with baby number 5! Scary! (I miscarried sweet baby 4) and we desperately needed insurance. 

Fast forward to baby Benjamin being born and my husband decided to get into the reserves to hopefully have some networking to commission and also for the insurance! Whew, that was a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders. But here was the kicker, the only reserve unit with MP's was 6 hours away in Denver, CO. So what was going to be a weekend a month, turned into four days. Mind you I had a newborn and three rowdy kiddos who really needed to be entertained! Y'all, also- "one weekend a month, two weeks a year"-is a LIE. I'm not exaggerating that my hubby answers army calls ALL the time and is constantly on the computer having to work on schedules, etc. He probably works a good thirty hours a week for the army, no exaggeration. 

So with the cutbacks, my husband was afraid he wouldn't be able to commission as prior service. The rules are so strict now since forces are being reduced. 

He decided to put in an AGR packet. His packet was submitted and accepted in May 2014 and by December he had been offered a recruiting job, he has been waiting on a school date ever since!  Fast forward to April and we find out he will be deploying and will be put into a mandatory re-class! 

So with, all of this we have literally put our lives on hold. 

So where is God in all of this? 

To be honest, I have no idea. Three years of uncertainty. This June my hubby will graduate from college! I do feel like that's something that has been awesome. I also had a super sweet baby. So please don't get me wrong, I do feel like we are so incredibly lucky. But I want to know the story, what does the future hold. 

Nothing is wasted. 

I believe it, it's just hard to feel it sometimes.