When the church dissapoints you

Monday, June 29, 2015

Here it is, I'm just going to say it because this is my blog and I do what I want.
Sometimes, the church really screws up. I mean it. Over the top screws up.
I have felt like it happens more than it should for a very long time but I just can't hold it in anymore.

When I was 18 I got pregnant with the very best thing that ever happened to me. Alijah Evan was such a sweet miracle from God to minister to my heart. I knew God existed but not in any way, shape or form did I live my life in a reflection of my love for him. I attended church with my family but I always felt so out of place and judged, but it wasn't until I got pregnant did that really affect me. My huge scarlet letter was placed on me and lets face it, it would never be removed. Except mine wasn't a letter A it was the letter S for SINNER.

Yep, I had sex before I was married. I also did a lot of other things I shouldn't have done, but that's all in the past and here is where the church screwed up. They didn't love on me. They didn't approve of my sins and they let me know it.

I signed my baby up to have him dedicated at church. I was so excited to have him dedicated, I loved Jesus and I wanted my baby to be raised in that love. I can remember when I received the call from my pastor. The overall conversation was basically that he would not and could not approve of me dedicating my baby because I was a sinner. Those were his exact words. "I can not dedicate your baby because it would look like I approved of your sin".

Oh you mean that perfect, gift from God who happened to be born to a sinner couldn't be dedicated to the Lord. The forgiver of sins, the giver of grace. The one who writes our story?

Y'all my heart aches writing this. Being young, I didn't fight the decision. Instead I turned away from God. I stopped attending church. I stopped feeding my soul, and for a long time I stopped loving Jesus. It affected me so deeply I still have hurt feelings over the entire situation.

The entire point of this rambling post is to tell you- Jesus came for the sinners. HE came to open the gates of Heaven for all people. He wants us to represent him and I will tell you that in every case Jesus chose LOVE.
We can absolutely be against sinning, but what we can't do is choose to exploit the sin while not loving on that person.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these. Mark 12: 30-31

Also, when the church screws up- try to remember- most of us are genuinely trying to love how Jesus does, but we get it wrong... a lot.. That's why we need Jesus.


  1. I'm sorry that you had to go through that experience but I love how you came out of it! Everyone deserves to be loved and feel that they are accepted.

    1. Thanks Jen, I totally agree! That's what I feel like the church should be focusing on.

  2. That is so sad! I'm not a fan of church for this very sort of thing.

    1. yes, for a while I was totally turned off by church. The church we attend now is really awesome for not judging, which is very rare!

  3. I'm Catholic, sort of, but I'm not religious. I do go and pray every once in a while in a Chinese temple because that is easy to find. But I definitely think that religion is meant to be accepting of everyone, perfect or not and that is why I pray in a temple for the time being After all, who is perfect? I'm sorry to hear that you had to go through that...

  4. I've never felt comfortable in a church. I've tried different ones and they just aren't for me. But I know some friends who love their churches at least!

    I was pregnant at 19. Oops.

    1. I'm so glad I started early! I will only be 44 when my last kiddo graduates :)


Thanks for stopping by!

Disqus for yellowribbondiary.blogspot.com