After Tim left for boot camp, I really struggled with postpartum depression. I mean like intense, dark, need to shower and brush your teeth sort of depression. I really had no desire to get out of bed each day. I spoke with my midwife and she completely blew me off! Looking back I wish I had had the strength to go see a different doctor.
Tim was at boot camp and was doing great. I received the sweetest letters all the time and also received flowers a couple of times. I seriously didn't even write him back, I sent maybe a total of five letters the whole time. (Y'all this makes me seem horrible, but if you have ever struggled with depression you will understand) But he continued to pursue me. He never knew what I was going through until after boot camp, because I never shared.I felt like it was something I should keep to myself.
Fast forward and it was graduation time! Also it was going to be our baby's very first birthday! I flew with Tim's parents to St. Louis and then we drove the rest of the way to Ft. Leonard Wood.
Seeing Tim for the first time in months was so incredible. I literally remember feeling so in love with him! We watched him graduate and that night Tim took me to dinner on a date. He was already on orders to Korea for a hardship tour and we were going to be taking him to the airport just the next day to fly out for another year!!!
That night, exactly one year later, Tim proposed to me and this time I said yes! It is such a sweet memory for me.
I feel like God really used that year to teach me to not be so selfish and also to do some of the growing up we both needed to do. Looking back at how hard that year was, it makes me happy to see how we made it through!
The next day, we traveled back to St. Louis to send Tim to Korea for an entire year. My heart broke knowing it would be so long, but I was so excited to be planning our wedding this next year.